Comic Relief – Sick Jokes

Okay – you’ll like this one:

Q) What do you get if you cross several million quantity petro-chemical made-in-China Red Noses with a hyped-up dumbed-down UK population?

No? Give up?

A) The end to World Poverty and Global Equality of course!

Ya geddit? Ya geddit? No? Not funny?

Okay, okay, try this:

Q) Why did the celebrity cross the Channel?

A) To get his diseased shallow fame-fixated soul out of the pit of self-loathing to the other side of the green zone where it can gain valuable public attention, some credibility and be bathed in the false beatifying light of charity before heading back across the deep chasm to the security of the gated green room and the consumption and lifestyle comforts that ensure the majority world remain impoverished and in apparent need of his once a year charitable stunts.

Ha ha ha – oooh. That kills me.

Okay, one more:

An English man, American man, and Afrikan man walk into a TV studio.

The Englishman talks in a sensible earnest English way about the poverty of Afrika and all the great things he’s doing to help save Afrika and how you can do something funny or silly to help Afrika and how you can give him money to help him save Afrika.

Next it’s the American man’s turn. The American man talks in a loud enthusiastic American way about the poverty of Afrika and all the great things he’s doing to help save Afrika and how you can do something funny or silly to help Afrika and how you can give him money to help him save Afrika.

Finally, it’s the Afrikan man’s turn. The English man and American man put their large arms round the Afrikan boy’s skinny shoulders. The Afrikan man smiles humbly, holds back the tears and says… thank you.

Ha ha! Geddit!? Geddit?

Yeah… if we truly wish to get to the heart of solving the inequalities and injustice in this world then Comic Relief Red Nose Day just isn’t funny. I outline some of the critiques of this form of charity in the post Save! Save! Buy! Buy! Bye Bye… specifically focusing on Consumption Philanthropy. One main criticism of “charity” as opposed to “solidarity” illustrated in that last “sick joke” – the recipients of charity rarely get to speak for themselves, voice their own solutions or inform and educate us as to how best we can help their own programs of reversing the historical injustice and oppression that we continue to perpetrate against them. This is about Reparations – repairing the historical, social, psychological injustices done to deliberately under-developed nations and peoples by mal-developed nations and mal-adjusted peoples. It’s a big, huge, problem and it won’t be tackled by a once a year celeb-fest laugh-along and more processed petroleum plastic gimmickry.

As Aidan Jolly (singer/songwriter and member of Virtual Migrants) indicates in his song “Red Nose Day” (reprinted by kind permission below) – if we are all in this together and “Maybe if her Majesty Could pay a bit more tax?” (plus all other enriched entrenched elites could also be required to repair the damage of centuries of plunder and oppression), then there is no reason why poverty cannot be made history…

Smiley face, smiley face, laugh out loud.

Red Nose Day – by Aidan Jolly

Send in the celebrities
The famous and the rich
God bless the medi-ocracy
And the all night TV sketch
They do their bit for Africa
Then it’s off to the Fat Duck
It isn’t nice to bring it up
But they couldn’t give a ……

Everyone has to be funny on Red Nose Day
Everyone has to be funny on Red Nose Day

Maybe if her Majesty
Could pay a bit more tax?
Or if Sir Freddie Goodwin
Gave his pension to Hamas
If we didn’t have to pay for
PFI and Runway Three
The jobless Woolies workers
Could give more generously

Everyone has to be happy on Red Nose Day
Everyone has to be happy on Red Nose Day

So don’t ask why the poor stay poor
Or who we have to thank
Just put a sticker on your car
And laugh all the way to the bank
The coltan, oil and uranium
From foreign soil are torn
A red nose and a stupid hat
Seems like a fair return

Everyone has to feel good on Red Nose Day
Everyone has to feel good on Red Nose Day

So put on your clown’s costume
Get in the baked bean bath
Everyone’s so grateful
And at least we’ve all had a laugh

Yes, everyone’s so grateful – on Red Nose Day
Yes, everyone’s so grateful – on Red Nose Day

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One response to “Comic Relief – Sick Jokes

  1. Reblogged this on virtual migrants and commented:

    Blog from virtual migrant’s Sai Murray on the ludicrousness of celebrity charity, featuring “Red Nose Day” by fellow VM member Aidan Jolly.

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